what if i am alone.

and there is nobody else but me. i have my head. but that’s all. and it’s all i know of to be true. i feel so i must on some level exist. but i only have my own skin and my own nerves and my own eyes. and i can only see other people. but i am not other people. so how do i know if they exist? they might just as well be pure ghosts of my brain. simply imagined by my mind so i wouldn’t be as alone.

what if my whole life i am just creating projections. i’m projecting my feelings onto other people. the entire time. maybe nobody is there after all. it’s all in my head. but then again if my head is the only thing that actually exists, that is all there is. meaning, that that is reality. so why am i still uneasy?

what if my head dies.

is everything going to be over then? if i die, does everything die? does reality die? it must, musn’t it? because that’s all there ever was and all there ever has been and will be. so if i’m no longer here – nothing is.

what if death is a new start. what if death is not the end and birth is not the beginning. what if there is much more. maybe i’m just a tiny puzzle piece. maybe i’m just one person that is currently number one in the queue and my experiment will be over soon. maybe i’ll return then and smoothly fit in with the other puzzle pieces again and tell them what happened back in my reality.

maybe death is the way to reality.

or is it the other way around after all?


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